“Boundaries are personal property lines that define who you are and who you are not, and influence all areas of your life. Physical boundaries help you determine who may touch you and under what circumstances. Mental boundaries give you the freedom to have your own thoughts and opinions.” [Amazon]
Many people I encounter in my healing work need boundary repair and maintenance. Some with weak boundaries are too easily influenced by others. Some pick up as their own the feelings and thoughts of others. Some have weak immune systems, the immune system being the physical aspect of boundaries – “me” vs “not me”. Others with rigid boundaries may not be able to tune into others or to allow intimacy. Some flip back & forth between weak boundaries and rigid ones – from “come hither” to “go away”, with nothing in between. Some have energy cords from others invading their boundaries (see https://stonemusing.com/2014/05/14/releasing-the-cords-that-bind/ for more on this).
Several years ago I went to a convention to see a favorite actor. While waiting for my photo with him, I watched how he interacted his fans. He greeted everyone warmly – with hugs even! – though he had only about 20 seconds with each of us. Unlike some other actors, he didn’t pull energy from the fans (“Love me! Adore me!”). Nor did he push them away energetically (“Don’t look me in the eye!”). It was clear that he was simply himself and not at all any of his roles nor who I had imagined him to be. He was perfectly grounded and centered, with excellent boundaries. Impressive! I’d like boundaries like that!
When it became time for my picture, he hugged me, and much to my surprise, I noticed that I immediately became more grounded and centered myself. More me. Have you heard how a tuning fork that’s vibrating can set up a vibration in another tuning fork at rest? The same things happens in electrical circuits – a wire with a current running through it can induce a current in a wire next to it. This actor had a strong enough presence, strong enough boundaries, that my boundaries could pick up his resonance, just from being near him. “Downloading a template of his boundaries” is my engineering-y way of saying it.
This was mildly interesting – but months later it proved very useful indeed.