I already hear the murmur of people gathering for the annual burning of Zozobra here in Santa Fe. It’s a big celebration here, described in one of the tourist mags:

For 98 years, Santa Fe’s original burning man Zozobra, a 50-foot tall, storied marionette, has been built anew. And each year he is stuffed with thousands of paper “glooms”––love letters, divorce papers, photos, speeding tickets, bad habits, hurt feelings––to go up in smoke (and disappear from our lives) when this New Mexico icon goes down in a highly orchestrated, flaming fury as we cheer on from below.

When I first moved here in the mid 80’s, I knew nothing of Zozobra but lived only a few blocks away and followed the crowds to watch. It’s a very family friendly event – no drinking, good security, lots of dance performances and music before the burning starts. After the burning the groups drifted down to the Plaza where there was music and dancing. Great fun.

Over the years, there were changes. A shooting at the Plaza one year curtailed that part of the event. As Santa Fe got more popular there were more people at the event. Now about 60,000 are expected. But for me the biggest change was in me.

I now live only a couple of hills from the event and hear the festivities way into the night. As I said, now I hear the murmur of people gathering. Later there will be music and fireworks. And the screaming of Zozobra as he burns.

Zozobra screaming

Hey wait a minute! Granted this is a huge puppet created to be burned. But we are cheering while listening to the screams of a creature however inanimate being tortured. This has stopped being fun for me.

The idea of a scapegoat is that it is “not me”, not one of us, different, expendable. In this case an inanimate puppet. Originally a goat staked to lure the predator. All too often outsiders are blamed for a group’s misfortune. Hitler used the Jews as the scapegoat for Germany’s ills. We’ve seen a number of genocides like this. Even the concept of Jesus dying for our sins is scapegoating. Witches were blamed for accidents and illness. Not just humans – black cats have been killed relentlessly as scapegoats for bad things happening. Enough!

I am no longer interested in blaming “Other” for my sins or misfortunes. My personal growth depends on me taking responsibility for my own part in what disturbs me.

Posted in Musings | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Anti-Fear Maintenance For These Times

Felt like this!

I sat this morning to do my usual alignment and realized that my energy was barricaded with armor! After the violent upheavals of this last week and subsequent political yelling, in the context of increasing worldwide co-vid infections and of political threats and of reports of violence, my poor solar plexus and heart had retreated behind hard shields. I could imagine the armor like metal plates around the center of my body, but I couldn’t pry them off more than a crack. Hmmm. Not a very comfortable way to go about my day.

I know from long experience that trying to force off protection just doesn’t work. My inner self just whimpers, retreats more and throws up more barriers. First question: is there an immediate real threat? No. What I fear are projections into the future – what might happen. Even the fearful events of the last week, while I saw and heard them through the media, were not actually in my presence. It should be OK to lighten my armor. Some armor is from early trauma, but right now I just want to clear out the excess from last week.

Showing placement of chakras in the body
Chakra breathing-orig image by Alex Gray

Chakra breathing usually helps. I imagined myself breathing in and out of each chakra.

— The root chakra at the base of my spine. After three or four breaths I could feel my muscles and energy flex with each breath. Good.

— I moved to my sacral chakra in my lower abdomen, front and back. After five breaths I could feel flexing in that area.

— Now up to my solar plexus, at my diaphragm. Oops. Six breaths – still no flexing. Still hard as a rock, solid with armoring. Will adding color work, maybe a soothing green? Nope. Nothing.

For you:  If you try this and can feel flexing, keep going with the chakra breathing. Go up to the heart, then to the throat, next to your forehead and finally to the top of your head.

This morning though, I was stopped at my solar plexus, the place I most often feel fear. I need something more to clear this area. So I switched to adding motion to my breathing. My Crystal healing teacher, Katrina Raphaell, taught up some very gentle moves to clear the aura.

— I started over at my base chakra. Still sitting up straight, I gently move my body in circles around the base of my spine. I continue with the chakra breathing, inhaling as I circle to the right and forward, exhaling as I circle to the left and back. After three or four circle, I change direction, inhaling as I circle to the left and forward, exhaling as I circle to the right and back. This feels good!

— I move up to my sacral chakra. Sitting straight and centered, I place my arms relaxed on my thighs. I gently lean forward, keeping my spine straight. This stretches my lower abdomen gently as I inhale. Then I lean back as I exhale, feeling the flexing in my lower abdomen.

— To moving this motion up to my solar plexus, I straighten my arms as I breathe and flex. Ahhh. That’s better. I can feel the stiffness start to loosen. I continue until my solar plexus feels more fluid and less armored.

I won’t describe the rest here but there is a nice video on YouTube that is similar to the gentle process Katrina taught us: Cleanse Your Chakras: Kundalini Pranayama Practice. I found many of the chakra clearing yoga practices on YouTube to be much to vigorous for me, but this one I can follow in a gentle manner.

 Ahhh, this time once I clear my lower chakra, the upper ones clear more easily. I feel less weighted by emotional armor. More fluid and resilient.

But I think I’ll not read or listen to news for the rest of the day. News is no longer the dry public information service of my youth but now needs to grab as much of an audience as it can. Unfortunately the best way to do this is by headlines and sound bites that are very scary. “”If it bleeds, it leads.” “body bag journalism”.

Part of my anti-fear maintenance is monitor my own body, my own energy, and move what is stuck. But another part is to remove myself from the influences that try to trigger my fear.

Posted in Musings | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

2020 – Reboot?

Like most people these days, I have wondered what on earth is 2020 about. What a year! What a strange, weird, variable, unpredictable year!  Some speak of this period as the Apocalypse, while others hope for the Age of Aquarius.  Devastating fires, rising oceans, unprecedented storms, sweeping disease, political chaos – even swarms of locusts and casual mention that an asteroid may hit the earth!  What is going on?

What’s the use of having developed a relationship with Guidance if I can’t ask questions like this?  So I sit down, shut up, ask and listen.  I get an answer, but it’s…..”REBOOT”.  Reboot? What’s that mean, I ask. But I just keep hearing “REBOOT”. I get the impression that even if I was given more, I wouldn’t now understand it. Like something you only “get” when you’ve gotten there.

I’m a computer nerd.  Reboot to me is what happens when you turn a computer off and back on again.  The operating system – the set of instructions that tell it how to behave and how to run programs – is reloaded, replacing the instructions that over time and use have gotten scrambled,  lost their references or otherwise gotten screwed up.  Well. Okay. So how does that apply to me? Continue reading

Posted in Musings | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Disruption Bringing Joy???

Ruby(top) & thulite cabochon (bottom)

Recently I did a layout of healing stones that to my surprise included thulite and ruby. A combination that hasn’t come up  for me before.

Thulite is a stone I recently acquired and I haven’t grokked it yet. In The Book of Stones Robert Simmons says, “Thulite promotes the emotion of joy and the enjoyment of life.” A nice heart stone then.

Ruby is a long time companion since my days at the Crystal Academy. It can be thought of as a heart stone but in my experience it doesn’t have the sweetness of a rose quartz but is more like a powerful heartbeat. It reminds me of the rune Hagalaz – “disruptive natural forces”, according to Ralph Blum. It can shake one’s mental & emotional “structures” in a way that makes obvious what is weak or what is stuck.

So why was I called to put these two stones together in a layout for healing? I tuned in and asked them.  Continue reading

Posted in Crystals, energy healing, Inner Resources, Musings | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Manipulated By Fear

I am so tired of being manipulated!  Trump is a master at it – he says something totally outrageous that sends us into a tizzy. Even after 4 years we still rise like fish to the bait! The fundraising organizations do it – let there be some headline and immediately  different organizations are emailing me to send them money to help them stave off the dire effects.

I remember seeing the same thing when I was volunteering at ​non-profit organization – the CEO saw every headline not in terms of how it would actually affect our clients but rather in terms of how to use it to get more donations. ​Manipulation by fear.  ​Bah Humbug.

​I was listening to one of my early spiritual teachers the other day. He had said that the Universe is Benign. I’ve believed tUniverse is a friendly placehat. When I first heard it, wondrous magical things were happening to me and all around me. Of course it was benign!  But when I heard it the other day, I felt a glitch in me. Do I still believe that?

It seems to me that Nature is not benign.  Predator and prey. Eruption and erosion. It is not particularly antagonistic either. It just is. ​Isn’t that true of “The Universe”?

We as a species have not conducted ourselves in a way that we can expect a “kindly” response from our universe. Without getting into questions of “deserving”, if one erodes the ground under one’s feet, one will fall.

I remember a shamanic dream I had years ago in which I realized that it is more important that I honor the sacred than it is whether I live or die.  Perhaps that implies that I should stop judging the Universe,  stop yearning for it to be benign yet being afraid that it isn’t.

Posted in Musings | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

What Stones for Prosperity?

OnProsperity imagee question I get is “What stones would help me be more prosperous? To manifest more money?” 

While some books will link particular stones to prosperity and manifestation, I find it involves bigger – or deeper – issues.  People who want prosperity are often pushing it away or not managing what they have. One person agonized about their taxes – how could they owe so much when they had nothing?!?  Turned out they were making a lot – but spending it all on a hobby. Another felt impoverished in spite of regular income, but fed their animals unnecessarily expensive food.  Yet another has money making skills, but gives all their work away and then can’t pay utility bills.  Not all the manifestation in the world will improve one’s prosperity if what prosperity there is isn’t acknowledged or is thrown away.

Stone wise, I focus more on what the underlying issue is rather than prosperity itself.

Is the person ignoring how the earth plane black tourmalineworks? Maybe black tourmaline will help them get more grounded and practical.

  Do they not value themselves, not feel worthy of receiving what they want? Maybe pink rhodonite can stimulate self acceptance. 

Are there negative thought forms around prosperity – that money has strings attached or can invite arrogance? Was money a factor in conflicts between the person’s parents? Maybe green calcite can help prompt a re-framing.

Is someone else taking all your money or draining your resources?  Reflective hematite for shielding might help.

Are you setting out on a new path, needing help is establishing yourself?  Consider tender green peridot for encouraging new growth.

Not a one-size-fits-all answer, is it? And there are many more issues and stones what could be relevant.  The real question is “what will help you?”

In my practice I have the person consider their issue and hold a stone. I dowse their field to see what happens.  Does their energy expand or contract? How does it feel? Then we do the same with a different stone. That way they can feel the differences themselves and pick which they are most drawn to.

Stones can help with issues like these if they are the right stones for the person but they are most useful when working with a therapist or counselor who can help unearth the issues and explore resolution. If nothing else, the combined energy of you and another helps things move.

Posted in Crystals | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lab Measurements Meet Energy Healing!

Lindsay hooked up to a computer with electrodes.

Having my energy measured by Dr. Melinda Connor.

For years folks have been trying to measure auras and healing energy, but the equipment just wasn’t sensitive enough – but it is now!  At last my geeky left-brained side can stand side by side with my intuitive & healing oriented right-brained side and say, “Yep! It is real! Told ya!”

I’ve been studying this last year with Dr. Melinda Connor,  who is from a long lineage of energy healers and also has doctorate credentials galore, including an NIH T32 post doctoral fellowship in complimentary medicine research at the University of Arizona under Dr. Andrew Weil and Dr. Iris Bell. But what really got my attention was that during a local talk, she pulled up a line of energy that I could see! Even me, who usually doesn’t see energy at all! I want to do that! So when she started a class here, I leapt for it.

Yeah, I know. Has nothing to do with healing. In my healing work I already have a number of skills and tools and am dedicated to serving at the direction of Guidance. But I’m also allowed to have fun!

We have learned to do different types of energy waves on command,  to run energy and modulate it through different states and much much more. It has been like a refresher from my years at Barbara Brennan’s School of Healing – on steroids!  Wheeee! Hogwarts!! And yes, I can now see energy that I couldn’t see before though I still have a ways to go before I can create my own Light Saber.

But what sent my electrical engineer side into geekspasms was that at the end of the year, Dr. Connor brought up her supersensitive measuring devices and showed us what we can do!  Check out the two graphics below!

On the left is a picture of my energy field “at rest”. The colors are simply assigned to show different frequencies being given off.  On the right is what my energy field looks like after I do a self healing.

Lindsay GDV Pre self healing_1235

Lindsay GDV After self healing_1305









There is a difference!  More energy around my crown chakra, less spikey-ness.  Dr. Connor said that some of the darker blues showed karmic blocks moving out of my aura. Cool, eh?

Just as cool were the super sensitive meters that she used to measure the results when we ran energy on command – charging our hands, running a pulsing wave from each hand (i.e. AC), running a steady wave (i.e. DC), changing the pH of water, charging our chakras.  Here are my measurements.  I want to see how they change after my second year of studying with her!

Melinda's class_ Yr 1 Assessment

Yep, Hogwarts!




Posted in energy healing | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Conversation with the Alternate Me Who Chose the “Normal” Life

Glade1I sometimes do a form of journeying in my sessions and in my own meditations. I’ve posted a couple here.  As with all such explorations, I do my preparations.  For my “alternate self” explorations, I start with the same image, a glade, warm and inviting, surrounded by trees. There are wildflowers, bees and butterflies dancing in the soft breeze. I come here to communicate with alternate selves – the “me’s” from other realities or other timelines from whom I can learn.

pipestone-boulders-0722My perch is on a large rock in the center of the glade. I find my special place, a hollow just right for me to sit comfortably. I relax and breathe, imaging the sunlight in the foliage and warmth on my back.

Today I’m wondering if my choices were wrong, if I “went astray” in not following a more traditional woman’s path. I want to connect with an alternate self who took the path I avoided, the path of marriage and children and “normality”. Once I am settled in, I call out, asking her to appear.

It takes a few minutes, but gradually I can see her approaching in my mind’s eye.  She comes toward me through the grass.  She looks like me, but no purple streaks in her hair. She’s a bit thicker in the waist. I notice her wedding ring. She looks at me quizzically.  She’s as curious about me as I am about her.

“Are you who I would have been if I’d never married or had children?  If I’d chosen a career instead? That sounds exciting.”

Hmm, I guess it has its exciting moments, but doesn’t every path?  I ask her what it’s like to have one partner, to plan a life based on husband and children. Instead of answering she offers to switch psyches with me, letting each of us experience being the other directly. Whoa! Is that possible?  Even as I wonder, I find myself experiencing her life.

I feel the sweet romance as she found a man to marry.  I’m surprised to realize that it isn’t so much a falling in love as knowing that she wanted to build a family and connecting with a man who wanted the same.  I feel the comfort of lying in bed with one person over the years, of increasingly ‘fitting’ with one another. Their excitement at pregnancy and the heaviness as the life within her grew. The agony and relief of birth.  The bustle of growing children and school and worklife. The pleasure of little things – a child’s first “art work” posted on the refrigerator, comforting skinned knees and bruises. Her pride as a child moves ahead in school. I feel the poignancy as the children grow more independent and experience the quiet smile and shared look with her husband as they adjust to their changing relationship with each other and the children.

Gradually I come back to awareness of my own life and my own choices. She laughs that she found my life very exciting. Having a career, working with colleagues, traveling around the country and interviewing different people. Giving presentations and classes, being seen as “an expert”. But, she confesses, she found it a bit overwhelming and exhausting.  I admit that I found her life rich, but for me, a little…well, dull. Much of the same day to day  – same activities, same people, same environment. We smile at each other, with greater understanding of our sameness and differences.

I come away, realizing that my life has evolved from a series of choices.  These choices have been consistent with what is important to me, so that my life is perfect for me. It cannot be compared to any other.




Posted in Inner Resources, Meditations, Musings | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Ritual Works! Released Chronic Attitudes

I’ve never been a fan of rituals. Those from my youth seemed empty, dead, meaningless. But this summer a friend took me to a store in New York, Enchantments, that abounds with tools for rituals. I watched one of the people create a candle for use in a ritual. Runes, astrological sign, glitter, scented oils – as she carved the symbols I could feel the power building in the candle. Impressive!

celtic-pendant-with-runesThere were objects that drew me to buy them. A stone with an unusual variation of a familiar rune. A pendant with runes and Celtic symbols. Incense for “Uncrossing”. When I researched the pendant, I was appalled to find that it spoke of love relationship. Ugh! I don’t want to go there again!

The stone was a Hawks Eye, a blue tiger’s eye, with a rune Berkanahawk-eye-berkana, paired with its reversed form. Berkana is often related to fertility. Double ugh! But I researched further and found phrases I relate to: “Now is the time to put the knowledge and wisdom you have learned into practice…Plans, ideas and concepts that you thought were sound may turn out to be a waste of your time and effort. Do not allow this to discourage you – it is merely indicating that a different concept or angle must be looked at.” [Artist Komickrazi’s tumblr]

Hmm, What does all this have to do with me?  I sat with my journal and asked my Guidance.  They said that my “ugh” responses showed the blocks – “crossings”- that stand in the way of my relationships. My “ideas and concepts” come from the pain in my past relationships and from my impressions watching those around me.  Most marriages I saw, while fine for those in them,  were not examples of what could support and expand my own path. Society promoted what I saw as bondage.  There is a large storehouse of old ideas and distorted memories that I thought were sound for filtering my own experiences. I need to let go of that. I need a “different concept or angle”.

Yeah, right. Easier said than done.


Some ritual aids

So my Guides gave me an uncrossing ritual, to repeat regularly over a period of time. 2 weeks – a fortnight. Starting at the dark of the moon and continuing until full moon. With dedicated candles and uncrossing herbs. I was to take a bath or shower every day, at the end pouring a cleansing tea of 3 herbs over me and I stated my intent: “I ask the release of old pains and beliefs that inhibit my love relationships.” Rather than towel dry, I was to air dry while lighting 2 candles anointed with special scented oils and, standing between the candles, repeating my intent.

I did it. Every day for 2 weeks. While it felt powerful, I didn’t notice any difference.


me with 7 of 9!

A couple of weeks later I went to the Las Vegas Star Trek convention. It was a blast! I had lots of fun and interacted with a lot of fascinating folks.  I was delighted with everything and had magical connections.  Wait! The previous times I had gone to STLV, I felt isolated and awkward. I never connected with anyone. Why was this so different?  I could feel my Guides grin. “It’s the ritual!” they whispered. Shoot, in the past I automatically scanned for someone to be the single relationship to define my life!  I hadn’t seen that relationships are all around me! “Relationship” doesn’t only mean “lover” or BFF.  Before I’d wanted people to be interested in me Now I was interested in them and exulting in our shared love of Trek. I connected without expectations. Had fun with what was in front of me.  Well, well. The ritual worked.

I’m not going to scoff at rituals any more. I’ll use them to support elusive intents and to release blocks I keep holding onto. In my own crystal healing work, usually the energy pattern is shifted without needing followup work, but homework of a ritual may help shift the thoughts, feelings and attitudes more quickly.

Yea ritual!

Want to use a ritual for your own long held blocks?  Relationships? Fears? Negative thinking?  Chronic procrastination?  Your ritual can be as simple as lighting a dedicated candle each morning for a week or as thorough as mine.  There are folks around who specialize in rituals – pipe ceremonies, sweats, etc. Look for them or explore on your own.  You can contact me for suggestions. Here are some of the websites that might be helpful:

The store in NYC with oils, incense, ritual candles, etc:

A description of an uncrossing ritual:

Some other background information and suggestions on herbs, colors, etc.

Note: Some sites that came up had to do with hexes from others, an approach I haven’t found useful. For me there is too much of a victim tone and projection onto others. It has been much more powerful to look within myself for the origin of blocks or for what in me opens me to undesirable influences.


Posted in Meditations, Musings | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

ReFraming Fear

I’m having a hard time these days. The politics have gotten to me. The Other Side is so clearly wrong and My Side is so clearly right.  I fear dire consequences if the O.S. prevails – and unbelievably there are rumors that they might.  Arggggh! I fear the End of The World as We Know It.  So I turned to my Guidance via journalling for comfort.

2 wolvesInstead my Guides point out to me that I have been reminding those coming to me feeling under psychic attack that their very fear is what opens them to negative emotions. “Ahem,” they continue. “You do know that applies to you as well.  We’re not saying you should take no action, but we do say that if you entertain the fear, it will grow.”  Drat! It’s the parable of the two wolves again.

My Guides continued, “You have your own anger about the Other Side and would like to see them suffer and admit they are wrong.  The child wants an apology from the parent.

“We want you to shift yourself about the Other Side. Get a picture of him and emoji grinput it on your altar. Light a candle for him. Pray that he follow his own path. You really do not know what is best in this case. …But we don’t suggest that you send him $$!  ”  Comedians I’ve got as guides.

I don’t like this. Not at all. Yes I know enough about energy to know that what my Guides say is best. But I like to rant and rave.  I  like the stimulation of girdling my loins and going to war.  Yes, yes. I see the cosmic eye-roll and I hear that such is what keeps us embroiled in conflict. OK, I will do it. But I don’t like it.

Altar altered

There. The picture. The special candle. My altar. I’m not doing well with the praying bit. Best I can do is pray to my Higher Power, “Thy will be done”.  A conversation with a friend who is voting for the Other Side shows me that my heart is definitely not open. I’m still very much in judgment. Acceptance eludes me.

My Guidance had added that I do know how to practice releasing fear. I know how to center. I can wear items of positive energy to keep me aligned to that.  I also know how to use stones to help me reframe.  So I did a calcite layout on myself tonight.

CALCITE choicesIn my world, the rhomboid form of calcite (a slanty cube) suggests reframing.   It’s easy to get caught in thinking something has to be one way or the other, either “this” or “that”, “x” or “y”.  The calcite cube reminds us that there is a third axis,  many different “this” and “that” possibilities.  We don’t have to stay trapped in an either/or way of looking.

calcite stones

Stones used for my calcite layout

For my calcite layout, I lay down in my healing room, on my healing table.  I placed a black tourmaline at my feet to “ground” me and an obsidian egg at my root to make my subconscious more accessible. Then at least one calcite of appropriate color at each chakra. On a whim, I placed green Varisite at my solar plexus, to connect with deep earth wisdom. The pattern created by the stones felt profound in a way I can’t explain. I relaxed into the energy for 30 minutes or so, until I started to get twitchy.

And now?  I don’t know yet. I haven’t run to my altar to blow kisses to the Other Side. Maybe tomorrow I can do better with my prayers and acceptance.



Posted in Crystals, Musings | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments